Top Two Reasons Why I Would Make a Crap Buddhist

Reason One: My attitude of graditude is for shit. I say "I wish I had ____" or "If only ____ would happen" and then I get my wish or those things happen and then I'm still not happy. The enjoyment of the moment is 'poof!' gone. Then, I want something else.

Reason Two: I cannot calm my monkey mind. (Buddhists call the mind that cannot be calmed enough to meditate a monkey mind, mine seems more squirrelly.) A typical thought cross section, with appropriate punctuation:

"doeshelikemeIlikehimwhatifhedoesn'twhatifhedoes"

or

"willIgetthejobwhatifIsaidthewrongthingwhatcouldIdotomakethemlikemebetter"

(which I guess both boil down to "pickmepickmepickme")


So sorry Your Holiness, despite the prayer flags guess I won't be joining up anytime soon.