My Brush With the Law Part 1

I did my civic duty this week, living those 2 words that strike joy into the heart of every registered voter, jury duty. Actually, I was intrigued more than anything. I love to see how things work and I am a people watcher so I was perversely looking forward to it. (Getting paid for not working always adds to the appeal too.) After 1 day of service I had 3 things reinforced:

1) People do not listen. The 2 women running the potential juror pool do it every day-they had their shit down. Unless you had some highly personal situation there really should have been no need to even ask questions. If you listened they would all be answered for you, usually more than once. But people don't listen.

2) People don't know how to dress anymore. I'm not saying you should wear a suit and tie or your church hat but flip flops and your Sammy Hagar t-shirt? Or in one scary case a tube top and hot pants? (Hootchie jurors sign in here!) Even if you have reservations about our legal system pull yourself together and show a little class I say.

3) People are never satisfied. When we were told that there was only 1 trial going on that day and that they had settled at first people clapped. But when it took a few minutes to get everybody signed out and paid (as it would with 50ish people) they started to grumble. These were the same people who, 15 minutes before, were planning to stay all day (longer if they got seated on a panel). Now, with the possibility of freedom before them, can't wait 10 more minutes without complaint.

I did my duty and I gotta say in my experience the system came off looking better than the people it serves.

Sorry Pluto

I feel bad for Pluto. Scientific inquiry isn't all about me of course but I gotta say I am little rocked.

One of the facts I remember from school (and there seem to be fewer and fewer of those) isn't the case anymore. What's next? Geography isn't spelled george-eats-old-gray-rats-and-paints-houses-yellow anymore?

I ask you.

Now I've read about it and I think the astronomers did the right thing. Yes, it's exciting that we've discovered enough new space things that we can kick Pluto out of the planet clubhouse and yes, like my boyfriend wisely said it means that Pluto will forever have a significant footnote but I feel bad. Can't we, in recognition of many years of good faith effort at acting planetary, grandfather it in?

No? Okay.

I feel bad for Pluto. That's all I'm saying.

Another Great Entrepreneural Idea

I came up with another one the other evening as I was out walking the dogs. I had a serious craving for circus peanuts of all things. Now I could have rushed out and bought some, true, but then one of two things would have happened. One, because I don't want to waste food I would have eaten the whole bag or two, I would have thrown out the rest after I got my fill with my satisfaction ruined by waste. So I thought what we need is a store where they sell teeny tiny portions, smaller than any commerically available now, for just those times. You could even call it Cravings. With so much attention being paid to the obesity problem recently it would seem the perfect time for such a venture. I could have bought my peanuts, just a couple to hit the spot, and it would have all been good.

Cute Niece Story #1

Two weekends ago we had a special guest at my house-my boyfriend's niece, Carly, came for a sleepover. Carly is 3 and one of his special favorites (he has like 13 nieces now-it's a very girly family). She is the daughter of an English teacher and a lawyer so she's nothing if not well spoken. My favorite exchange concerned my cat, UFO, who fascinated Carly. The cat has all her claws and has never, in the 10+ years I've had her, had a positive experience with a small child. So I gave Carly a long warning, that she had to be careful with UFO because if she wasn't she could get scratched and then she'd cry. Sure enough, I turned around and she had a scratch. I asked where it came from.

"Mira did it." (This is another cat not around at the time.)
"Was it Mira or UFO?"
"Goofy did it (she had trouble with UFO's name) but" she said with intensity, "I didn't cry.''


At another family gathering the following weekend she said, "Sam, remember a long time ago when I slept over at your house?"

"You mean last week?"

"Yeah, last week. Goofy scratched me."

"I know, is it better?"

"Yes. You know cats are still my favorite land animal."


Favorite land animal-she's 3.

And she cracks me up.

Roles to Play

Like a lot of creative folks I have participated in pretty much all the arts at one time or another. Photography-check. Dance-check. Band-check. Acting-check.

Yes, I am a dabbler.

I'm really just writing now (although I do love my Print Gocco card maker dearly) and don't feel the need to act except when I see community theater and think "I could do that better". There are, however, two parts I'd love to play, both from graphic novels.

The first is the part of Stella in Steve Niles' 30 Days of Night. It's set in Barrow, Alaska where all hell breaks loose when a vampire convention comes to town drawn by the 30 days of night in the Alaskan winter (think a vampire Apalachin). Stella and her husband are the town sheriffs who try and protect Barrow from the rampaging undead partiers. Stella is very brave but not at all quippy which I appreciate. She rises to the awful occasion well but realistically. I am the right age to play her and could look the part (like Marge in "Fargo" Stella shouldn't be too pretty). For added verisimilitude I also lived in Alaska for a few years so I know all about Carhartts, Sorrells and the long dark winters.

The other part would be either Maggie or Hopey from Jaime Hernandez's "Locas" half of the classic 80s series Love & Rockets (brother Gilbert wrote the Palomar stories which are also great but since I am pretty darn white no way I could not be cast in those). What started out as a spoof of sci fi-Maggie orginally worked as a mechanic for a lantern jawed hero named Rand Race-turned into the story of Maggie's coming of age in the 1980s California punk scene and her on again, off again "friends with benefits" relationship with Hopey. Though I'm getting a bit long in the tooth to play either and I really don't think a movie could do the graphic novels justice, their spirited punk cuteness still appeals 20+ years later.

So, casting directors take note-I am available.

Thanks a Lot D.H. Lawrence

"there must be more money, there must be more money"

These are the words that have been running through my head on one of those painfully annoying loops lately. I, and almost everyone in my circle, are struggling to make ends meet. We are the working poor like out of a movie by Michael Moore or Morgan Spurlock. There's worse off for sure but it's tough. Of all the fears that grab me, when I've been alone too long or when I am just too much in my own head, the money one is the worst.

"there must be more money, there must be more money"

When it comes it grabs me around my throat. It's a panic attack that feels like I am being restrained againest my will and I am kicking to free myself but can get no purchase. I grow increasingly frantic as I try and calm myself and the damn thing just keeps building and building. The fear lodges in my throat, filling it so I can't ask the question I most need to which is, "What will become of me?"

"there must be more money, there must be more money"

For most of my childhood my parents were divorced and I split my time between 2 households, one where there was plenty of money and one were there was not. I am sure that this effected the way I think about and use money to this day in ways that I haven't even figured out yet. Don't get me wrong, I was never in danger of living in a car or having to eat Alpo but it did force me to think about money earlier than a lot of kids.

"there must be more money, there must be more money"

Those words come from a short story by D. H. Lawrence called "The Rocking Horse Winner" which I discovered as a child as it was included in nearly every horsey anthology I devoured even though it's not really about horses at all. In it, a wealthy family loses its fortune and the youngest son comes to a bad end using his psychic gifts to help his handicapping uncle pick winners at the track to help keep the family afloat. It is without a doubt one of the most influencial pieces of writing I have ever read because it was one of those times you see your own heart articulated on the page by a stranger which is both exhilarating (I'm not alone!) and terrifying (We're all fucked!). The story keeps building as the boy hears the house saying over and over,

"there must be more money, there must be more money"

Thanks a lot D.H.

One Less Thing to Bitch About

One of my most regular rants, usually triggered by my new multimedia release prep at work, is the absence of some of my favorite TV shows from DVD. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that "Lancelot Link Secret Chimp" (he's a chimp and an international spy!) is now available on DVD but where is "China Beach"? Or "WKRP"?

But another title I would have thrown in that mix, the very witty "Animaniacs", is happily now available. A brainchild of Steven Spielberg's Amblin Entertainment, it is cartoons for adults. Yeah, the kids might like the songs but most of the jokes will be way over their heads. It's nonstop snappy patter and pop (and most every other kind of culture) references go by so fast it's great to see it on DVD where you can slow it all down. The most successful other team from this anthology show, Pinky and the Brain, are also now available in their own boxset. I look forward to many happy hours (narf!) getting reaquainted with those crazy Warners.

Summer Song 2006

I have finally chosen my summer song. There's something about this season that cries out to be captured with a song. I'm not sure what it is-it's languid nature? The way it encourages people to get together? I don't know. I certainly don't feel compelled to choose a fall song or a winter song. Only summer.

The other thing (for me at least) is that the song really chooses me not the other way around. It's taken a while this year but I am finally ready to announce. (insert musical flourish here)

It's a tie!

"Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley

Actually not one person with a really odd name but 2 DJs collaborating, this one has a fresh thumping bass paired with some old school soul-ish vocals. Not usually what I would seek out maybe but me likey, me likey.

"The Way We Operate" by Gomez

I adore the opening of this song (banjo solo!) and it's ups and downs. I don't have the CD yet so I mostly hear it in the car and I have this whole little car dance worked out. Very fun.