One of Those Cosmic Questions

I am on a quest. A quest for a dust ruffle. Dust ruffles are key cause they hide the prodigious amounts of crap under the bed. I have been involved in several longterm relationships and during those relationships I had a dust ruffle. Yet, somehow, when those relationships ended I was dust ruffle less (kind of like when I married we had 4 crockpots yet when we divorced I was left with none).

As much as I hate to come down along stereotypical gender lines (that's old school in the bad way) I gotta say if I am the one with ovaries how is it he always gets the dust ruffle?