Do These Insecurities Make Me Look Fat?

The wedding is coming up.

Normally I would just be happy for my friends and to have a capital O occasion to look forward to but this time is a little more fraught, a little more ramped up. Normally I'm pretty calm about the whole wedding thing. But normally I have a date. Also, my usual comfort when the hair or outfit doesn't quite get pulled off , "Well, it's not my wedding nobody's going to be looking at me" isn't actually true this time. Many of the guests will be people I worked with in what is euphemistically called 'back in the day' (or so long ago in bookselling years there weren't even computers). These folks likely will be checking me out in a 'Is that Sam?' kind of way and in lieu of a wow accomplishment to brag about and minus said date it's more important than ever to look good. Keeping up appearances and all.

So there's been stress. Silly, girly, self imposed stress but stress none the less. Lots of thinking about outfits and shoes. (Can you wear red shoes with a blue dress if you're not dancing with the boys at the USO?) The usual bit-an overstuffed closet with nothing to wear.

Sorry Mike and Nancy, I am thinking of you, honest. I'm not that much of a self absorbed me monkey...really. But, does this dress make me look fat?