Esprit d'escalier

It's a French phrase that I discovered on Laura Lippman's Memory Project blog. It literally means "wit of the staircase" but it's talking about the thing you weren't able to say at the time, the perfect response you don't think of till it's way too late.

I love it cause it happens to me all the time.

A good recent example is my boyfriend's grandmother's headstone unveiling. Even after 5 years of coasting the Jewish faith (we celebrate everything at my house) I had never even heard of this particular ceremony so, when the opportunity was offered for people to say a few words, I had nothing. And then, by the time I did, the moment had passed.

So now my esprit d'escalier for Josephine Lieb.

Josephine was the first family member who called me Joe's girlfriend. It was at Hanukkah 2001 and I was meeting the clan for the first time. When Joe said hello and introduced me she said, in her inimitable accent, "Girlfriend?" And he said, "Sure". It wasn't news to me but it was pure pleasure to hear it said aloud. It felt like a welcome-like there might be a place for me in this loud and large family. I didn't know her well at all but I won't forget her.