There Will Be No Accompanying Photo For This Post

I can now honestly say I know Victoria's Secret. Are you ready? It's F-I-T.

Let me back up and say that on my best friend's visit this spring (she's one of those continential, splitting her time types) my breasts were the object of considerable talk. First there was the Oaks dress, which flatters me in every way but especially in the bust.

People were taken aback.

See, as well as running with a pretty crowd (as I believe I have mentioned before) I run with a busty one so my assets, such as they are, (somewhere between peach and grapefruit, producially speaking) had perhaps been, how shall we say..overlooked. There was actually a comment from the BFF to the effect of I didn't have a rack so much as a ledge or maybe a small shelf.* And yes, I have gotten the "more than a handful is a waste" line from more than one man. I know they were trying to be kind but really, it's one of those lines that only sounds kind. It's kinda like "it's not the size it's what you do with it" for women.

But finally, much like my inept hanging skills that leaves practically everything in my house crooked (I just start pounding, she uses a level) she had had enough of my ill fitting and tired bras. I was dragged, kicking and screaming as I remember it, to the mall to take care of this offensive business once and for all. As she scoured the store to get a girl I stood by the door muttering," I don't want a girl" over and over. (I thought it was going to be WAY more hands on if you're picking up what I'm laying down. ) But after the measuring was done and pronounced I was so glad because the look on her face when she heard and even more when she saw was classic.

34C and it's all me. Oh yeah.


*Before you think her too harsh let me offer that old friends get a pass in this, that's the cool things about old friends. And her comment also came back to bite her big time in the shape of a saddlebag zinger that made me laugh so hard I got a cramp. Neener, neener, neener.