The Bracelet Club

I wear blue for my friend, Danny who is kicking the crap out of cancer.

Thanking the Butterfly

Last week at my manager conference last week I heard about the butterfly effect from Andy Andrews*. This week I got to live it.

The butterfly effect was a scientific paper first published to professional scorn in 1963 by Edward Lorenz. That paper claimed that a small change at one place in a nonlinear system can result in large differences to a latter state. Or, as it was more flashily dubbed, "Does the flap of a butterfly's wings in Brazil set off a tornado in Texas?" The answer, as proved by physicists much later, is a resounding yes. The butterfly effect is now a law, the law of sensitive dependence on initial conditions. Or, when it comes to the mysterious science of human relations, because of our interconnectedness everything you do makes a difference.

Everything you do makes a difference.

The point was slammed home to me by meeting my sweetie's sponsor for the first time. Since the fella's people are sparse and widely scattered this was closest I'd yet come to meeting family. He was a delight, a 10 of the nicest people I know, super upbeat type and we had a rollicking good time full of all sorts of special treats but if we'd have met for 5 minutes at the Wash-o-rama the effect would have been the same.

I know for a fact that I would not have the best thing in my life without this person being there first. Because of his one yes years ago (non recovery me imagines a sponsor to be part lighthouse, part safety net, part angel on your shoulder) and all the resulting kindnesses my life was changed forever and for the best. So that's what I said, clumsily and through tears. It's not often that things align so neatly to give you an opportunity to express what you ought and I'm so grateful to have gotten that chance.

So thank you Edward Lorenz and thank you sponsor.




*Do yourself a favor and go to YouTube and watch Andy Andrews butterfly effect talk. It will make the world smaller in the best possible way.

Captured. Again.

There are pictures with the kids.

Pictures where he's acting like a kid.

Adult humor pictures.

And not so adult humor pictures.

There's a lot of those. Sleeping pictures.

And lots of still lifes of co-mingled stuff that stand for so much more.

After two years there are (literally) hundreds of pictures. And there's been lots of comments lately about all the crazy/nutty/funny/ and downright exhaustive number of pictures that I take of him. Some time ago he recalled my previous post about pictures of him ("Captured") wrong. That one was from my perspective about why I needed to take so many pictures and he remembered it saying I don't know why he likes a lot of pictures but that's not what it said at all.

I know very well why he likes a lot of pictures. Besides the fact he's a ham with a side of ham, huge chunks of his past are lost, gone forever. Between the head injuries, drug abuse, imprisonment and more moves than the US Army, it-both the memories and nearly all tangible reminders-is all gone.

I can't restore those pieces, no one can, but I can capture the now, the tiny bit of his life that is shared with me. No matter how silly or prosaic-this week it was the first pepper we picked from the garden and a ridiculous one of him in a cowboy hat & boxer shorts-my camera is ever ready. It pins my social butterfly down and captures him, if only for an instant, in the life he has now. I can't bring back all he lost but today, today will be preserved.

I Haven't Swam Enough This Summer

(photographer unknown)

Amen Brother Neil!

Be proud of your mistakes. Well, proud may not be exactly the right word, but respect them, treasure them, be kind to them, learn from them. And, more than that, and more important than that, make them. Make mistakes. Make great mistakes, make wonderful mistakes, make glorious mistakes. Better to make a hundred mistakes than to stare at a blank piece of paper too scared to do anything wrong..
Neil Gaiman

The only think I would add to this is that it applies to more than just writing. Too much in this world is left untried for fear of making a mistake.