My Dinner with Pelecanos

The following is a piece I wrote for the local paper's "My Town" column. They declined it and published a piece on stormchasing instead (go figure).

My favorite story to tell right now is the story of my dinner with author George Pelecanos-otherwise known as A Cautionary Tale of a Loudmouth Girl or How Not To Conduct Yourself and Make an Indeliable Impression.

My boyfriend, who got me hooked on Pelecanos' Derek Strange novels years ago, works at the Borders corporate office and was kind enough to add, when invited to dinner with the author himself, "Can my girlfriend come too?" Lucky for me the answer was yes. I felt luckier still when I was told I would be the only woman at the table.

Oh yeah. Those were odds I could handle.

In the weeks leading up to the dinner I spent serious time considering what to say. As with other arists I appreciate and whose works I treasure I feel I owe them a debt. I almost wish they'd be caught in a situation only I could help them out of. "I've got this," I'd say. "For all you've done for me it's the least I could do." Short of that, what I'd like is an honest exchange. Book signings or post concert fetes are awkward social constructs. It's hard to have more than a minute or two of interaction, which makes it nearly impossible to express anything heartfelt. There's also the sinking feeling that everyone else will be expressing the exact same sentiment as you are and that they will all blur together and become meaningless. I don't want to sleep with anybody and I don't harbor any delusions about them being my new best friend, I just want to speak my heart and know I was heard.

Lest I sound a little too excited, I would offer in my defense that in those weeks I had to put a beloved pet down and was introduced to the very real possibility that I might not have a job in the near future so the dinner took on larger proportions in direct corrolation with how much life was knocking me sideways. I made a conscious decision if I was going to the ball I was definately going to dance.

The day finally came. Befitting our status as dinner guests we got to meet the author before the signing. He was nice and looked exactly like his author photo-I would have recognized him anywhere. I was relieved that my voice still worked and I was able to make small talk. His author escort complimented me on my outfit and my new earrings bought specially for the occasion. I was on a roll.

The signing went well. I wished for more people but the ones there were serious fans. The reading was great and made me like the new book, Drama City, more.

After the signing we walked over to the Earle for dinner. I was quiet, mostly, listening to the others talk. I had a Marilyn moment when my skirt blew up ; fortunately, I was in the back so it went unnoticed.

The Cinderella feeling continued at dinner while hearing about the creation of his books, who will be playing Derek Strange in the forthcoming movie and all the behind the scenes at HBO's "The Wire" (which he helps produce and write). Halfway through the evening I was pretty pleased with how I was acquitting myself-I had said several of he things I had planned and they seemed to go over well. More than that, I was actually having a good time, surprising for a champion nervous overthinker like myself. Good food, good company, lots of endorphins-what's not to like?

Pelecanos told us that he had written a song that was going to be recorded and released. Music fans all; we were very intriugued and asked what it was about. He said, "It's about the one you didn't sleep with, the one that got away." He said it was inspired by a scene from the movie, "Lady From Shanghai" where a character is telling another how he saw a woman only once but thought about her for the rest of his life.

Unlike nearly everything else I said that evening, which had all been carefully considered (or at least semi capable thinking on my feet) what came hurtling out of my mouth-all unbidden- was, "That's not 'Lady From Shanghai' that's 'Citizen Kane'."

Now anybody who knows anything about Pelecanos knows he's a huge movie buff. HUGE. He wrote an entire book where the runing joke is a movie that everyone wants to see. For Pete's sake the man studied film.

I had the unreal floaty feeling you get when you make an ass out of yourself. Where time seems to slow and you're not really sure you said that out loud. Hopefully, it's just some incrediably vivid dream you'll soom be waking from.

Lucky for me the Earle is a very dark restaurant so no one could see how red I was.

After a brief pause, I was too embarrassed to note if it was a stunned silence, the conversation continued without me. I was hopeful that the moment would be forgotten over dessert and coffee but it was not to be. When the evening was breaking up George came over to me and thanked me for correcting him in front of everyone. Though I'm pretty sure he was kidding me, my heart sank anyway. Not the impression I was hoping to make. We said our goodbyes and departed.

Never one to cede the last word or miss an opportunity for a laugh, the next day I devised a plan. I called the Borders in Silver Spring, Maryland where there was a signing later in the week and bought a copy of "Citizen Kane" to be given to Pelecanos at the event.

In an exciting postscript a few weeks later I received a nice note, thanking me for the DVD and saying, among other kind things, that he was "charmed rather than shamed".

Mission accomplished.

(This is the first thing I ever submitted for publication electronically-boy, rejection happens fast in the 21st century.)

You can visit George Pelecanos at his website www.georgepelecanos.com. or in your local bookstore or library.